Broken
by inesd
Summary: You were not supposed to see her face again. Even her smile had become inaccessible. You still hear the warmth in her words, the vulnerability in her voice. But it wasn't real. Deep down, you knew she was died... until she came back in your life three years later. Now, you have the possibility to make up lost time but will you be brave enough to confess your feeling ? EMISON story!
1. Under your gravity

**Hello guys, it's been a while I was thinking about write an Emison story, and then, here I am :) This story begins the night when Emily find out that Alison is still alive – not in the same way than in the show. It took some time but I hope you will enjoy it as much as I've liked write this. Keep in mind that I'm not English – French, in fact – and I'm pretty sure you will find mistakes in my text but I've tried my best. You can tell me if you found one and I will fix this as soon as possible. That's all, just tell me if you like it!**

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><p><em>Chapiter 1<em>

_Under your gravity_

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><p>You were not supposed to see her face or her smile again. Or anything belonging to her, as a matter of fact. This look, sometimes hard, but so sweet at those hours when nobody listens, had become inaccessible. You still heard the warmth in her words, the vulnerability in her voice. But it was not real. You had the proof days after days, when you saw all those people trying to replace her at school.<p>

Without knowing that she was irreplaceable.

Yes, maybe they carried her smile, but none of them found value for you.

You've been waiting for her. For a long time. Maybe months, years. Nobody knew better than you when was the last time someone saw her. Every second separating her from you was engraved in your memory, and you counted them as prisoners count bars of their cells.

But one day, people around you decreed that all of this had to come to an end. The hope. It was necessary to turn the page, and then you made it. This broken heart gave her love to someone else. Several times. It never lasted too long. Their presence, all the attention of the world, was not enough to fill this hole in your life. They would never have been able to.

Because all this time, through them, it was her that you looked for.

You don't really know when you stopped believing in it. Lie to yourself. To be honest, you never really stopped hanging on to those memories, no matter what it may cost you.

In front of your friends, your family, you claimed to get of it. They wanted an image of a strong girl. So, be it. That's what you gave them.

But the reality was quite different.

She shared your dreams for a long time, walking when the sun raised, at this same hour when sun's rays lighted up her blond hair, with soft glare. And you kept one of her T-shirt. You knew it was bad, that it just feds your sorrow, but it was stronger than you: too hard to move on.

Sometimes, you smelt her smell. This, at least, the time had not got through it. Somehow, you felt close to her. So much memory was bound to it. Beautiful memories.

The problem with the happiness, it's when we suffer, we feel suddenly angry against them. Nothing matters anymore, including this fragile happiness which satisfied you so far. What's the point of keeping all those photos, those letters, those videos which won't get her back?

Alison disappeared and if Emily couldn't believe it yet, this bitter taste that she lets on her lips, was the proof

Yes, Alison DiLaurentis was supposed to stay forever her night's ghost.

"Emily?"

… so, how explain that this ghost was that real?

The swimmer blinked one moment. A familiar voice got her back to reality. Emily looked away, a blond girl was staring at her with attention.

"Emily" she repeated with a soft voice, although the brunette perceived her anxiety, even anguish. "You are wounded" noticed Alison, fear growing a little more in her look.

Emily wanted to answer something but her friend came near, and so close, her will weaken. Only a look from Alison was enough to make her lose control over her words.

"I… No" stuttered the swimmer awkwardly, but her voice went out so low that she hardly heard it.

Her behavior seemed to magnify Alison's anxiety. Emily knew that she shouldn't have felt that, yet the idea that the blond worried about her, was unexpected and it warmed her heart.

"It wasn't a question" whispered Alison while she held her glaze. "We have to take care of this shoulder ". The blond pointed out her arm. A trickle of blood had stained her shirt, and it's precisely at this moment that Emily realized the wound on her skin.

The blue freeze glow inside her friend's eyes, was fascinating, so much that it numbed the pain. The brunette felt falling under her gravity, as we fall in love.

"Where can I find something to heal you?"

Emily remained silent. To be exact, Alison was not certain that the girl perceived her presence by her side. Guessing that her friend was in a state of shock, the blonde had a look around the house in search of disinfectant. Since she disappeared, the place hadn't changed a lot, except some decorations added meanwhile. Taking again the familiar way to the bathroom makes DiLaurentis' child homesick. How many sleepless nights and laugh had she shared here?

But it became something of the past, now.

Even the best things come to an end, and her end begun with 'A'. Does it mean that happiness never last?

Alison pushed the door in front of her and opened instinctively the cupboard under the bowl.

_Here you are _

"I found some disinfectant " announced Alison at the other side of the corridor, proud to be useful, even in a tiny way.

And the teenager turned back to the hall. When this one came again into the kitchen, she found Emily in the same position she left her. The precision was almost frightening, even her members hadn't moved. As if time had stopped suddenly. Somehow, something in Emily's face convicted the blond that she was close to the truth.

Alison pull up carefully the sleeve of her shirt and cleaned the wound until all bloods' drops have disappeared.

The girl put a bandage over her skin and the brunette jumped. She looked down.

_Come on Emily, deep down you know that it's only a figment of your imagination, your dreams take over. But… it's so real._

Alison came closer and, for a short moment, her perfume found a way to her. The same smell as on the T-shirt she kept of her friend. Emily was addicted to it.

_I'm going to wake up soon. _

A breeze got shiver the swimmer and Alison put her jacket against her shoulders, with a protective movement.

_This is all my fault_, thought the blonde, guiltily.

She shouldn't have come back to Rosewood. Everybody considered her dead for years, and it was better in that way. The last time she hears from 'A' was month ago. After three years of escape and loneliness, Alison had considered possible her blackmailer finally gave up. What a stupid hope! How did she have been able to imagine for one second 'A' would stop so easily and she could return to her old life? Instead of that, he attacked Alison by surprise while she secretly came back home. Emily came to help her without knowing that she would make a shaking discovery. She wasn't died. The girl she cried for years was not died. Alison felt her heart sank realizing she hurt her friend. If it had been possible, the blonde would have stayed by her side forever. Trust her, she wanted it so bad. But it was impossible. Not if Emily had to be to be the target of 'A' because of her selfish wishes. However, Alison noticed with regret that she failed in her mission. Her friend was actually hurt, no matter what she did to protect her. The Dilaurentis' child pulled down the sleeve of Emily's shirt.

_It takes longer that it used to, but I'am going to wake up. It's certain_, thought Emily.

Alison questioned her with wondering eyes, as she tried desperately to read her thoughts.

_All you see is not real. Avoid believing in it or you are going to suffer._

The blond put a hand on hers. Her heart missed a beating.

_I can feel it. I feel her hand as I felt my own heart stopping. How it's possible? I am going crazy?_

Could she loose her mind without being aware of it? The idea frightened her so much that she brutally took a step back.

"Hey, everything is fine Em?" Asked the blonde, seeing Emily's face become suddenly pale.

"So, it's true?"

It was the first words Emily had been able to say. Alison frowned, confused.

"I miss you so much that I'm going crazy, isn't it?" whispered Emily with a trembling voice, still shaken.

Alison smiled a little. Emily was so lovely when she was lost. However, her smile became darker when she understood that the brunette thought sincerely all her words.

"I know that it's hard to believe it after three years of absence, but I am there. It's me, Emily"

She shook her head, as she couldn't admit it.

"No, it can't be you" answered the swimmer, repressing a sob.

"But yet this is the truth. I am back." Assured Alison, moved too.

"I'm going to wake up. I'm going to wake up in a few seconds in my bed. Yes, and… "

"Please, look at me Emily." begged Alison, as she forced her to focus on her face. "What you have in front of eyes is real. It's not your imagination anymore, I promise."

"It can't be possible" said the first one firmly, with tears in her eyes.

"Why" just asked the blond, torn inside seeing that this denial's war, was destroying Emily.

"Because this girl… this girl …"

Alison began to cry too. She loved her so much. It was hard to see her suffering.

"… Died many years ago." concluded the swimmer and her words broke before the end.

There is a quiet moment, just after the storm, when the silence finally came back. You turn your head and the only thing you can do is see the damages.

No sound can cross your lips.

All you take for granted is now just ruins and you have to rebuild all of this again.

Then, slowly, Alison sealed the gap beetween her and Emily and put a soft kiss on her lips. This kiss was infinitely sincere and as warming as a hot chocolate in the middle of winter.

Alison took a step back.

"Does it sound wrong? Do you really think you can invent this feeling?"

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><p><strong>I'm thankful for reading it! what do think about this start? I would be very happy to read each comment and I hope there would be a lot! It's lot of work to translate in English, but I will continue to do it as long as you will ask for :) I look forward to reading your reviews!<strong>


	2. After the rain

**Hi :) I was pleasantly surprised to see that I received lot of review for this first chapter. So, first of all, thank you so much. You're amazing. I hope it's going to continue and you will enjoy this chapter. Translate French into English took me something like an hour. My text is long, I know it will not be perfect but I've tried by best, as always.**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>Chapiter 2<p>

After the rain

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><p><span>Three years ago,<span>

Alison sighed. For ten minutes, her look was staring at the window, captivated by the show of rainy droplets falling again against the window. The thunderstorm lasted for more than one hour and didn't seem to weaken, otherwise get worse. The girl looked up. New dark clouds formed on the horizon and were not considered a good omen.

For a moment, an intense silence settled down, Alison hoped secretly that winds were about to change and this rainy evening was going to come to an end.

A flash of lightning struck the sky.

I take back what I've said. It's not ready to stop.

A pressure against her arm interrupted Alison's thoughts. The girl turned her head. Emily Fields was sitting by side, apparently fascinated by the movie on television. At the beginning of the week, the four friends had planned to spend her Saturday evening together. Unfortunately, Spencer had to cancel because of a tennis tournament, as for Aria, the recent series of offences committed by his brother obliged her to keep an eye on him. At least, this time. Finally, Alison and Emily had ended up alone for evening. As usual, the two teenagers had fought for the choice of the movie but Alison had given up. To be honest, Emily practiced unfair competition. How can resist when she dropped her eyes like a lost puppy dog? Unsurprisingly, the swimmer had opted for the inescapable "Tell me something that never die ", her favorite movie.

"Jess" whispered a feminine voice on the screen, staring intently a man. Her subtly azure look, looked just as Alison's one.

At this moment, Emily strengthened the pressure against her arm once again. Alison smiles in spite of herself. She knew her friend loved particularly this scene.

"I love this scene so much" blew Emily, without diverting her look of the movie.

Alison rolled her eyes. Like she said …

"I'm not sure it's a good idea" as the actress got back the conservation while 'Jess' was hanging on her lips.

This one pulled away a lock of her hair and moved back slowly. The man sat on his seat and began to stare the horizon, his hands put against the wheel of the car.

"Listen, you know how much I care about you Jess, but… "

"But ?" He cut her before the end.

The woman hanged her head, unable to find her words. Emily felt her heart pounded. She might have looked this scene for the hundreds times, but the swimmer always felt shivers.

Jess stared at the woman with an unspeakable intensity. Finally, he smiles sadly and says:

"After everything that's happened lately, everything we've been through: you can admit it, you know."

She frowned in a ways nearly imperceptible.

"What you was about to tell me, you can admit it." He specified in a broken voice.

"And what should I confess?" She asked shyly.

The teenager inspired deeply and took his courage in both hands.

"I'm sincerely sorry. Please believe me, I love you… "

Emily felt her heart pounded once again.

"…But not in this way"

The silence fell again, stifling and destructive. The words resounded and Emily murmured them, thought of them. At this moment, the swimmer felt a part of her slowly breaking. She turned her head to Alison, without even understand the reason. The adolescence got for answer the indifference of her friend, chewing her popcorns with a nonchalance pretty comic. Emily couldn't help smiling.

The actor let his look linger one moment before opening the car door and going out of the vehicle. His silhouette went away, grabbed by the darkness. The woman called him back.

"Jess" She shouted by the window. The man turned around and moved closer.

" We could make a deal."

" A deal? " repeated the boy amused, nevertheless, through his look we can read a chaste sadness.

" When will come the prom, if your feelings for me hasn't changed, then maybe… "

The woman hanged suddenly her head and held her azure look. There was a rising hope between us.

" Then maybe we could end the kiss we begun? " She said shyly.

He smiled.

"Cliché" noticed Alison between two bites of popcorn.

Emily stare at her masked his amusement.

" What, it's true. Just try a little to scream in the middle of the night in Rosewood. I'll tell you, it's not your prince charming you will hear but your neighbors' insults! "

Emily shook the head, amused by her humor. She returned her attention on the movie.

"I can wait" announced the man confidently, a brilliant light in eyes. " I can wait for you " he repeated with deep voice and mastered.

"Clich…"

"Alison! Let me listen, please. I can't hear a word" the swimmer blamed her.

" Don't tell me that you seriously like this kind of sentimental movie"

"I find that cute" Emily defended herself.

"Completely useless" corrected the first one.

" I like what is cute "

" Actually, you like what is useless "

" Alison! "

"Okay, Okay, I get it! I'll shut up" the blond resigned with a small pout. She swallowed another bite of popcorn whereas the images continued to scroll on the screen.

"Wait for me?" answered immediately the woman. " You say that now but in two days, ten girls will come knock on your door and you will forget me. "

"They have no chance. There is always something wrong"

"Really?" wondered the first one. "So, what it is?" she questioned curious while she started the engine.

"They aren't you" concluded Jess.

_Cliché_

Alison was thinking those words when she felt the weight of Emily's look put on her. The blond crossed her arms against her breast.

"I didn't even open my mouth" said Alison upset, throwing her hands up.

"But you thought it so hardly, it's the same"

"Not at all!"

The brunette displayed an expression which clearly meant her doubts. The Dilaurentis' child sighed. She wasn't good to hide her feeling.

Emily cracked a smile. Alison could be so adorable. She looked like a little child being caught.

"I don't care. I can read your thoughts too anyway. "

"You are as close to read my thoughts as I am to get a higher result than you in biology."

"You don't have biology this year, Emily."

"Exactly"

"OK, and do you have an idea of what I'm thinking right now?" She had insisted on the last words.

"Of course" she met the challenge.

Emily lingered over the face and pretended to think intensely.

"Go to hell? "

A player spark shone through the look of Alison. The blond stare an imaginary point behind her shoulder and finally said.

"She is pretty good, isn't she?"

The brunette pretended to be upset and gave her an affectionate nudge in the shoulder. At this moment, a flash of lightning burst outside and the screen of the television became suddenly black. Soon, a power cutoff succeeded and both girls were plunged into darkness.

"Great! That's what I needed." Emily sighed. "What do we do now?"

"Maybe have you an interesting suggestion on the subject ?" said the blond with an excessively sensual voice, in her ears.

"Yes" answered Emily in the same tone.

She turned around and brutally stepped on her feet.

"Ouch! That was my shoe, Emily! "shouted Alison, taking her kicks in her hands.

"Oops, guess I wasn't paying attention. You know with this power cutoff and"

"Am I dreaming or you just kidding me?"

"Just a little" admitted the swimmer by showing a small gap between her thumb and forefinger. "Do you have a lamp? " She changed suddenly the subject.

Alison shook her head before remembering that her friend could not perceive her movement through the shadow.

"Nope" she answered.

The swimmer took out the phone of her Jean and increased the brightness.

"That will do for the moment» said Emily, as she was going down the stairs. She went to the circuit breaker, followed by Alison. The teenager opened the cupboard and began to turn the switches. No improvement.

"So, how are we going to watch the end of the movie?"

"It's true, how are we going to do that? I think the best thing to do is to postpone. It's too bad, it was so fascinating" said Alison ironically.

"I wonder why I've asked you to watch a movie with me."

"After this evening, it's obvious: you have dreadful tastes regarding movie and you needed someone to raise the level"

"Sure. I wonder what would I do without you, Alison."

"Guess you would look for me "

Emily rolled her eyes. Her friend was leaned against the wall and was lighting up with her phone she took in a hand. She held a pen in the other one. The brunette was writing on a notebook. The swimmer frowned.

"Seriously? We are in the dark for ten minutes but that does not seem to worry you. What are you doing exactly? "asked Emily as she was looking her taking notes.

"I make list of cliché" answered naturally Alison. "Did you knew that according to the youth literature, statistically, it's the moment when we are the most susceptible to fall on the handsome boy of the high school? Let's suppose you meet Edward Cullen tomorrow in your biology class? What will you do? "

"I lend him my book so he can understand the class" risked Emily.

" No! You read this list Em! You read this list. Listen: my heart is perfect because you are inside. Or, I fell in love with you as we fall asleep: slowly, then profoundly. Also: you are my end and my beginning. Even when I lose, I'm… What? I can't read what I've written right there. "

"I'm winning?"

"Yes, that's it. How you knew? "

"I don't know? Maybe because there are the lyrics of All of me?"

"I knew that it reminded me something"

"That's all?"

"Nope."

Alison turned the page and read out loud:

"Your father is a thief, he stole all the stars of the sky to put them in your eyes. And also: I think of you once a day and every thought lasts twenty-four hours. Think to buy some butter. Don't forget tomatoes"

"tomatoes?" repeated Emily, rising an eyebrow.

"Shit, that's was the shopping list. To sum up, you recite him all the sentences of the notebook - except the shopping list - and you finish as Romeo and Juliette."

"You've never read Romeo and Juliette, right? "

"No, why "

" Because otherwise, you would know that they both die at the end Ali. "

"You know what? Forget Romeo and Juliette. "

Emily smiled. The swimmer took an eye on the circuit breaker, once again. In the light, she noticed that one of the switches was always pull down. The teenager tightened her arm. She can't get it.

"Can you carry me on your shoulders? I think the problem comes from this one"

She pointed out the switch.

Alison agreed and lifted Emily. The girl hardly touched the lever and she pulled on it with all her might. Finally, the light came back but the swimmer fell, so as Alison.

Emily raised her head. She had fallen against Alison.

"Nothing is broken?" asked for the brunette with a worried look to her friend, on the ground.

No answer. Alison seemed unconscious.

"You're kidding me, right? Ali? " murmured the swimmer by shaking her. "Wake up! "

The blond opened eyes suddenly. Emily breathed of relief.

"You frightened me! Tell me something. "

Alison looked into Emily's eyes, without saying a word. She could never get tired of hers. It's like a perpetual constellation of star.

"Tell me something, please " repeated Emily, always worries.

"Cliché?" said suddenly Alison.

Both laughed. Without warning, the blonde tightened the hand against Emily's back and pulled away a lock of her hair, tenderly. Her smile became darker, her face was serious.

"This evening with you was amazing."

"I thought that you had hated this chick flick"

"And If was lying all this time. And if, deep down, I actually liked that? "

Alison slowly moved her lips closer to Emily's one.

"Would that be a such terrible thing? "

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><p>Emily pushed the door of her room. Alison was standing motionless, in front of the window. Outside, the thunderstorm broke out and the rain was stronger than ever.<p>

"I brought you a blanket, Ali" murmured shyly the brunette.

Ali…

Say her nickname again gave her a chill.

The blond kept silent, still staring the horizon without even give her a look.

Emily opened the mouth but changed her mind at the last moment. The girl hesitated to impose her presence again. There are some moments when, sometimes, your friend seemed so vulnerable and lost in her thoughts, that came this strange duty to make sure that nothing can disturb her. The swimmer moved closer and stopped behind her. Emily looked the rain falling.

"It was raining this night. Do you remember? "

The blond shook her head. How would she have been able to forget?

"All this time, I hung onto this memory of you. I remember everything. The way you laugh, your voice, your eyes. Everything. Even this green cap you wore. "

Alison raised her eyes. Emily could have sworn her friend had blushed.

"It's the only thing that got me through "

Her friend closed her eyelids a moment. She has waited so long to hear her say those words that Alison could hardly believe it.

She smiled. But this smile there so ached and sad that Emily felt her heart sank. She couldn't bear the think of Alison suffering. The swimmer would do anything to cure her sorrow.

Without thinking, Emily took her hand. Alison stared at her before taking a step back.

"Don't do this" begged the blond one with a weak voice.

"Why not?"

"I just come home. I… I'm not sure to be ready "

"But you kissed me, isn't it? "

"It was an error"

Held her breath Emily. Alison's words had hurt her so deeply that as she was unable to say a word.

"Just for practice, right? "

She wanted to hold back her tears but she couldn't. The swimmer turned around, Alison caught her arm.

"It wasn't just practice, Emily. It never did"

"But that's what you told me"

"You know, sometimes people say stupid things just because they don't know how to deal with their feelings."

"So… you have feelings for me?" asked Emily, shyly.

Alison looked her straight in the eyes.

"How can you still doubt about it?"

The blond hanged her head.

"I made errors. I regret having played with your feelings, and hurt you. I'd like forget, put the past behind and pretend I'm not this girl who broke your heart anymore. But it's not as simple. Even I could sincerely change what I am deep down, and there is nothing that I desire more in the world, I couldn't. I'm not a good person, Emily. "

Alison broke off a moment. The girl closed her eyelids and inspired deeply. Speak seemed to be a real test.

"The truth is I don't deserve you, Emily"

The blond gave a last look to her friend. One meter. That was the exact distance that separated them, nevertheless, their heart seemed ten feet off the ground.

Alison kissed tenderly Emily on the forehead and something in the way she did it, sound as a goodbye.

Finally, she left the room.

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><p><strong>What do you think of this chapter? Thank you for reading it. Please, if you liked it leave me a review. There are all important even If you are a 'guest', and encouraged me a lot. (Yes, I like write story but like read your review too, I promise!). In short, I look forward to reading all of them.<strong>


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